Full of Baloney

I was watching one of those Oscar Meyer commercials on TV when I noticed something that really disturbed me. The little girl in the commercial takes a huge bite out of her sandwich, and holds it up to the camera. That's not the disturbing part, well...it is, but not the one I am referring to. When she held the sandwich up to the camera I noticed the baloney was (brace yourselves) RAW! Troubling isn't it?

Naturally, I had to point this out to my mother. So when I saw the commercial again; I ran to her room to show her what I was talking about. She sat there watching the commercial and as I was hysterically pointing out the raw baloney, she burst out laughing. LAUGHING! She laughed at me for a good five minutes before she informed me that baloney is already cooked when it is packaged. Huh?

Now before you start thinking I should make my way over to a short bus; let me defend myself. In all my 20-something years of living, the only way I have ever eaten baloney was fried. That's the only way I have seen my mother and other family members eat it, FRIED. You don't eat bacon straight out the package, do you? No one had to tell you to cook the bacon before eating it, right? Same concept.

Mother assures me that a) baloney is not raw and b) I will not die of some horrible unknown disease from eating unfried (raw) baloney. She even admits to eating it unfried; 20-something years ago before I was born. I still have my doubts. I'm not sure if it is because Mother hasn't tried it that way since or because she keeps snickering every time she looks at me.

Well, I guess it is time for me to close. I can see from the bubble in center of the baloney, it is time for me to flip it. Happy eatings y'all!